Gucci taste on a Goodwill budget

It is freezing here. We have gotten about 6 inches of snow in the past 48 hours, and that fell on top of the 2-3 inches of solid ice we had on the ground already. It feels more like Alaska than Kansas! Chad loves it, being from Alabama, and he is like a kid at Christmas right now. Any excuse to go out in it (take the trash can to the street, get the mail, etc.) makes him so excited.

We had a 4:00pm service for church today, it was so different being able to sleep in on a Sunday!

Today I am back to work fully…yesterday I just had one of my daycare kids and today I have all four. The twins (Hunter and Braden, 3) are at preschool this morning, and Jack (1) and Tristan (1) are down for their morning naps. So, the day is going fairly well so far! They are all such good kids and working for good parents makes such a difference. I had my tonsils out last Tuesday and they showered me with flowers and gifts to make my recovery time better. I really am blessed to be able to stay home and work and take care of these four sweet boys.

The last couple of days I have just been overwhelmed because it seems like there is always something that comes up to block my view of the Lord. In this new year I promised myself I would try to take time out of every day to work on my relationship with Him and to get where I need to be, not just because I’m a preacher’s wife, but because I am His child. Some days I feel like I have Spiritual ADD, where I can’t stay focused on God for more than a few seconds (see above paragraph!), and I know He puts more effort into me than I do into Him. Thank goodness He does, or I would be in pretty bad shape!

This is an excerpt from Martha Beck’s article in the January issue of O-The Oprah Magazine. For some reason, it has helped me tremendously in the past two weeks (well, and having my tonsils out helped too…) with my struggle with overeating. Read it thoughtfully and it might help you too. I truly think the cure for overeating is compassion towards yourself. Read on….

“….[a skill] I’ve humbly named the Most Important Weight Management Skill in the History of the Universe. I call this mental exercise “Becoming the Watcher.” When I first learned it, I never suspected that one unprepossessing visualization would free me, and many of my clients, from the hellish roller coaster of rebound dieting. Going on the fad diet du jour may—temporarily—change you from a caterpillar into a thinner caterpillar. This exercise can turn you into a butterfly: a different body, no going back.

Hold out your right hand, palm up. Imagine that standing there is an inch-tall version of yourself—the part that insists on losing weight. We’ll call her (or him) the Dictator. The Dictator wears a uniform, carries a whip, screams insults and orders—the things you tell yourself when you’re feeling fat: “You’d better stop eating now, you disgusting blob of &*%$!” Let these words, and the Dictator’s hostile energy, fill your consciousness. Now notice: Do you want to eat more, or less?

Everyone [else] I’ve ever guided through this exercise, responds, “More.” Interesting.

Now hold up your left palm. Standing on it is another tiny version of you; the animal part that isn’t verbal or logical, and doesn’t understand what the Dictator wants. I call this the Wild Child, because it’s like a kid who’s continually assaulted by the Dictator’s attacks and privations. The Wild Child is tired, afraid, and frightened.

Notice: Is she planning to obey the Dictator in its effort to starve her? No? Interesting.

Now hold out both hands. See the Dictator in your right, Wild Child in your left. This next part’s tricky: Notice that both mini-yous are essentially good. The Dictator gets frantic when you gain weight just as you would if you saw a toddler wandering into traffic. It screams and yells, pushes and forces, because it’s trying to save you from a terrible, fat fate. And your Wild Child isn’t remotely malicious, just devastated, confused and afraid.

Consider both perspectives until you can empathize with them. At this point, it’s time to realize that the Wild Child and the Dictator deserve compassion. Offer it to them. Say this: “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.” Repeat it to both Dictator and Wild Child, until you mean it. Take your time.

All right, now answer the following question: Where are you in this picture? The only reason you can “see” both the Dictator and the Wild Child is that you’re not either of them. You’ve moved into a third realm of consciousness, in a different part of your brain. I call it the Watcher.

The wisdom traditions of every culture teach techniques (meditation, prayer) for aligning with this compassionate, observing self. Monks who do this regularly have unusually abundant neural activity in brain regions associated with happiness. The OCD patients Schwartz treated used similar techniques to change their brains. In short, the unassuming visualization you’ve just done is a portal leading away from futile conflict—including the diet wars—to a place of peace.

Notice: When you feel genuine kindness toward your Wild Child and Dictator selves, do you feel more compulsive about eating, or less? Interesting. -Martha Beck

After being underwhelmed by both MySpace and Facebook blogging, I think I will try this one. I so enjoy reading all my friends’ blogs and I hope you will enjoy mine.